Friday, 20 December 2013

The Poison of Bitterness

In 2012, a situation at home arose which meant I become quite bitter towards the people involved - particularly Mum.  I was hoping that by being bitter towards these people I would somehow hurt them but I only succeeded in injuring myself, although no doubt these people were injured as well.
The Lord kept tapping on my shoulder all year trying to tell me to let go of my bitterness and let forgiveness reign in my heart instead, but I refused to let go and instead dug my heels in deeper.
In January 2013, I went to the "a passion for Jesus" camp in Sydney and one of the first messages was about bitterness and letting it go and forgiving those you're bitter against.
It was then that my heart was finally broken and I saw the seriousness of bitterness and I knew I had to let my own bitterness go and that I had to forgive the people who had hurt me - particularly Mum.
I went to a quiet spot and wept tears as I did business with the Lord. I finally let go of my deep bitterness and the freedom, joy and peace that followed was unbelievable... I couldn't believe that I had been so stubborn to hang onto my bitter feelings for so long!! I immediately wrote a letter to Mum asking her for forgiveness which I posted a few days later.
I do still struggle with bitterness rising in my heart from time to time and I am always tempted to hold on to it but I know that it is not worth it and that the best path to follow is the path of forgiveness, which is the path I endeavor to follow every time.
It is not always easy to forgive, especially when the hurt experienced - whether it's real or imagined - is very painful. But as something that I read once says along these lines is that bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die - and it is so true!! The only person who gets hurt through bitterness I'd yourself.  So may I encourage each and every one of you dear girls - I'd there is any bitterness in your heart at the moment - let it go! And instead forgive the person who has hurt you. Don't cling onto your bitter feelings because they will only hurt YOU. Bitterness not only hurts you but it hurts your relationships - not only with the people around you but also with the Lord and it's not worth it. Forgiveness is the best thing... Although painful at first, it only provides freedom and joy... Bitterness doesn't hurt at first but eventually it brings great pain and hurt.
I don't know about you, but I choose forgiveness - not only for today but for every day.